Theres been a lengthy pause since my last blog post at the start of November when I shared the Pattern of Power. Integrating power is not a quick process and neither is it simple. There is no manual for it so one has to do what is required with the help of intuition, trail and error! So while this was happening I decided to take a break.
The break continues, however today I am called to write to you.
I am extremely happy, ecstatic!
I received the first consignment of “Healing Art – Coloring book for Adults”. This book has been in the making since September this year and after a lot of work, this labor of love is now ready.
I don’t imagine that all of you have read my book “I AM” that I wrote in 2014 and nor that you know my story.
I am sure while reading my blog you may have wondered what my fascination with “Art” is.
Art to me is not just color, something fun to do or a form of creative expression; it is much much more than that.
For me Art is medicine,
It is the balm I found when my soul was burning
It is the prayer I said when my heart was aching
It is the last sip of elixir I drank before dying……only to be reborn drenched in color as I AM today
Who am I?
I am a woman who experienced unexplainable chain of events and challenges since birth. These experiences involved its share of pain and trauma, which I internalized mostly, without taking a moment of breath to heal.
My story is not unique, it is the story of many. Nearly all of us have experienced some form of unexplainable, uncontrollable events at some point in our lives. Only difference is that some have experienced more than others and sadly, most of us did nothing about these wounds.
What happens when we keep walking without taking a moment to sit with our pain?
We die, bit by bit, only to realize one day that there is no life left and it is better to die than to pretend to be alive.
This was my story.
Depression, anxiety and panic attacks where as regular as a sneeze! Most of the time I did not even recognize that I was depressed, anxious and I sure as hell did not know that those moments where I nearly choked from fear and could not breathe were actually termed as “panic attacks”.
I fantasized about dying. Equally strongly, I wanted to live. For someone who stood right at the edge of the cliff, I can confirm that it takes as much courage to live as it takes to end ones own life.
I chose to live.
But this time I wanted to live for real, as a woman alive and present.
The strong intention I set to live and be present created a wave of synchronistic events that lead to my healing and transformation. Through out this process one constant was and still is “Art”.
When I started this conscious journey I began to pay attention and be present to all that happened within and to me. For the very first time I witnessed my first panic attack with full presence. I was scared and I did not know what to do. I could not see my counselor as it was after hours. I wanted to help myself and make the anxiety go away.
During one of these episodes out of sheer desperation and helplessness I decided to paint. I had seen an art therapist some time back and had found painting very relaxing and had bought some canvases with the intention of painting if I ever felt like it.
This time it wasn’t a whim or fancy, it was survival. I remember sitting in my living room with the curtains drawn with barely any light, breathing heavily and trying to relax my shaky hands. I meditated to pray for strength and for freedom from what was drowning me. Freedom came, something strange began to happen, I started to breathe and see light, color and shapes……
Many hours later I finished. I felt peace like I had never felt before. The questions I had before beginning to paint were gone and in its place was clarity, strength and trust that all is well.
Having experienced this level of peace and calm for the first time in my life, it was, as you can imagine a significant shift and a life-transforming event for me. I realised that through this process, I had stumbled upon my own power to heal.
From this moment on, whenever I was overcome with anxiety or grief, I sat and painted. Sometimes I painted the whole day and through the night. Other times only for few hours. However long it took, it did not matter as the result was always the same; incredible clarity, peace and freedom.
Freedom from my mind,
Freedom from my body,
Freedom from pain and most of all, freedom from illusions.
Wisdom came and lessons were learnt
I learned more through my meditation and these coloring experiences than I did through years of schooling, university and reading!
After 2 years of intense healing, I reached a point of clarity that part of why I am here, is to share the magic and healing power of art.
7 Patterns of Love
Of all the paintings and art pieces that I created during these years, 7 of them were significant and they taught me the most. I call them the “Patterns of Love” and it is my belief that they are the basic templates and patterns that are at the heart of our lives.
What are these patterns?
1. Pattern of Endings and New beginnings – the ability to die and be reborn with each defining event in our lives
2. Pattern of Passion- the gateway to love
3. Pattern of Love- our breathe, DNA, karma and dharma
4. Pattern of Surrender- the ability to fight fear
5. Pattern of Patience- the ability to accept divine timing
6. Pattern of Change and Transformation- the ultimate rebirth
7. Pattern of Inspiration and Abundance- remembering why we are here
Today I am happy because the medicine that healed me is ready for distribution and through these 7 Patterns of Love you too can experience what I did while healing.
There are many coloring books out there today. In fact it is the most popular thing today since the mindfulness movement started. All coloring books have power and they offer relief in some shape or form.
The 7 Patterns of Love I offer come from a real life journey, from real art and not from computer generated images.
I have named this book “Healing Art” and it is available today onwards for anyone looking to find peace and harmony.
What is also most exciting for me is that with every book sold, I have pledged to donate one away to a woman or man in need in homeless shelters, in detention centers, rehabilitation homes, wherever they are, I want this to reach them.
I have never done a product plug in my blog posts till date. Today is different, this is my life’s work, one of many I hope.
To be honest, even if this was my only offering to the world, I am happy.
If anyone asks me what my purpose is here on earth; my answer is “Healing Art”.
I came here to learn and teach about the healing power of art in overcoming depression and anxiety.