Atonement

It’s been a month since I started this blog and this is my fourth post. I have so enjoyed writing this every Sunday. It’s become part of my weekend ritual :) 

Speaking of rituals, I marked an important event with a ritual of my own today. I fasted the whole day and as evening came, I had a hot bath wore one of my traditional Indian salwar kurta's and went to the temple to offer my prayers and celebrate an important occasion.

The picture you see below is of the Shri Shiva Vishnu Temple in Carrum Downs, Victoria.

Isn't it beautiful?

What is the occasion, you ask?

On Saturday I had the pleasure of attending a full day seminar with one of my role models; Marianne Williamson. I arrived at the seminar knowing that I would learn some amazing lessons from this remarkable woman.

LESSON 1; Relationships as Holy Encounters

She called Relationships as holy encounters; encounters that were specifically orchestrated by the universe to bring the right person into your life to trigger and begin the healing required to prepare you for the next part of your journey.

I had always looked at my relationships this way and so hearing it being affirmed by a wise woman like Marianne felt great.

While I saw relationships as karmic and holy encounters I have often struggled to level with friends and partners who believed that relationships that brought up “wounds” or “stuff” were to be avoided! Break up and protect yourself, get out when you can; was often the advise given!

I heard her describe situation after situation in relationships; how often we leave at the first sighting of a wound. When in fact this is when we should stay and love the other even more.

I cringed as I remembered some of my own past actions and events when I had run instead of staying.

Then the mother of all topics came up; of Forgiveness and Atonement

She spoke about how essential it is to forgive and atone to fully heal and to truly begin a new phase in life. How this simple act of retribution can reset the karmic clock and heal individuals to whole soul families.

Now, I have done a lot of forgiving and asking for forgiveness in my life. So when the tears stated to flow down my cheeks, I was surprised! I wasn’t sure at first why I was so moved by this topic. I was a little embarrassed too as I was sitting right at the front in row 4 or 5 sobbing my eyes out!

I asked myself; who are you grieving so much for?

The answer as usual so obvious; I was grieving for me!

I cried because I realized that I had forgiven many people in my life and had asked for forgiveness from many. There was one most important person that I failed to do both with; ME

What is Atonement?

I only learnt the true meaning of this word yesterday.

The act of holding ourselves accountable for all our actions from our birth to the present moment and asking forgiveness from the people that we hurt  knowingly or unknowingly is a powerful act of reconciliation.

So deep and powerful….

I left the seminar with a promise that I will complete my walk of Atonement.

Forgiveness is act of ultimate kindness. Atonement, the ultimate act of godliness

I woke up this morning with these thoughts and sat for meditation with yesterday’s learning’s fresh in my heart.

I began my journey and found myself in front of a bright light. I went closer to the light, it opened into a long bridge. Both sides of the bridge was flooded with light .

The bridge had 3 lanes; I stood in front of the middle lane and I saw that there were people lined up on both sides of the lane. As I walked I realised that on my left, there were many of me standing next to each other!! All of my different aspects standing in line waiting to be acknowledged.

To my right stood a large number of people, some of whom I could see clearly and others were just a haze. There were so many of them, I was shocked! I sensed that these were all the people, beings that I had connected with on this planet, since my birth; my soul family.

I walked forward slowly, hands folded acknowledging each and everyone asking for forgiveness for all that I had consciously and unconsciously done till this day. As I moved forward I realised that behind me, one by one, people on both lanes disappeared into tiny specks of light. Some disappeared quickly others took longer. As the crowd got smaller, I felt lighter and lighter and it felt like I floated through the last few paces towards the end.

At the end of the bridge stood a wide gate, which was slightly open; I stood there and looked back at the path I had just walked and I saw that there was still one person, one man who stood there hands folded and smiling. I recognized him, I was surprised that he was still there. I ran back to give him a hug and told him I am sorry and that he was free to go. He looked at me smiling and said, I know I am free and I will leave; I just want to see you walk through those doors. I have waited for a long time to see you walk through these doors, I am so proud of you….

I walked back towards the gate crying, unable to speak; speechless with the love and compassion I felt from this being who I had so harshly judged during our time together.

I walked through the gate, I turned back to see him disappear into a bright light.

The pattern I have shared below is something I sketched last Monday. When I saw it this evening I realised that the bridge I had walked was staring at me from the canvas. The sacred symbols; I know some of them, others I don’t know what they mean and how they are connected to me.

I have just returned from the temple. I am yet to fully process all of what I saw and felt in the meditation. I haven’t got any insight to offer on my experience. All I can say is that it was profound and my heart is so full of love and gratitude at the moment, I just want to go to sleep carrying this peaceful feeling with me…

If you are moved by what I have shared or are curious about forgiveness or Atonement; I highly recommend reading Marianne Willimson’s book, “Return to love” and "The Course in Miracles", a remarkable book with channelled wisdom and it is also the basis of Marianne's teachings.

That’s it from me today.

Until next time, Love Deepthi